If you are a victim of domestic violence (physical or sexual abuse, or threat of such abuse), you may be feeling confused, frightened, sad, angry or ashamed. You are not alone! Unfortunately, what happened to you is very common. Once it starts, domestic violence usually does not go away without help. It tends to get worse and more frequent over time.
There are people who can help you! If you want to begin talking about this problem, or need a safe place to stay, or want legal advice, contact our staff for a referral. Domestic violence is a crime and as a victim you have legal rights. If the police have not yet been involved, consider calling the police for assistance. You can also obtain a court order prohibiting your partner from contacting you in any way (including in person or by phone). Contact a local domestic violence program or an attorney for more information.
Before You Leave Here:
1) Decide if it is safe to return home. If not, let our staff know so that we can call one of the local resources or help you arrange to stay with a friend or relative.
When You Get Home:
1) Develop an "Exit Plan" in advance. Know exactly where you could go even in the middle of the night.
2) Pack an "overnight bag" in case you have to leave home in a hurry. Either hide it yourself or give it to a friend to keep for you. This should include:
-- Toilet articles, medications, extra set of keys to the house and car, extra set of clothing and a special toy for each child
-- Extra cash, checks or savings account book
-- Important papers such as social security cards, birth certificates, green cards, passports, work authorization and any other immigration documents, medical cards, drivers license, title to the car, proof of car insurance, etc.
3) If you ever feel your safety is in danger, get out of the home, even if you did not have a chance to plan the above!
Calling The Police:
When someone has injured you or violated a restraining order, a criminal stay away-order, or an emergency protective order, then do the following:
1) Call the police: use 911 if it is an emergency. Tell them you are in danger and you need help immediately. Let them know if you have a court order. If the police do not come quickly, call again and say "this is my second call". Take note of the time and date of your call(s) and who you spoke with.
2) When the police arrive, tell them only what the attacker did. Describe your injuries, how you were injured, if weapons were used or if a restraining order was violated. Ask the police to file a report and give you a reporting number.
3) If you do not already have a restraining order, ask the officer for an EMERGENCY PROTECTIVE ORDER. This is an order that may protect you until you obtain a CRIMINAL STAY-AWAY ORDER or RESTRAINING ORDER.
4) Always get the police officers' names and badge numbers. If you have trouble with a police officer, you can complain to the officer's supervisor.
1) If the attacker is arrested and taken to the police station, he will probably be released with or without bail until the hearing. This may only take a few hours. Use this time to get to a safe place. Ask that a condition of his release be that he should not come near you.
1) If the police refuse to make an arrest, you may ask to make a "PRIVATE CITIZEN'S ARREST". Tell the officers that you fear the attacker will return and injure you unless an arrest is made.
2) Call the District Attorney's office or the Police Department about how to follow up with your complaint.
For more information, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or see their website at www.ndvh.org.